For the parents who love hardest, and struggle most.
Esme Hartley writes honest, lived-experience guides for parents raising children while carrying something heavy, and the message underneath all of them is the same: you don't have to be fixed, calm, or perfect to raise a happy, secure child. You have to keep coming back. And that, you can do.
A series for the hardest, bravest job
Three books. One belief: the parents who struggle most are very often the ones who love most fiercely.
Each book takes one of the things a parent might carry, whether a personality disorder, childhood trauma, or ADHD, and meets it without flinching and without shame: naming the hard parts honestly, then handing over a real, practical toolkit. Written from the inside, by someone who has been there. Each one stands completely on its own.
The Steady Series
Read in any order. Each is a complete, standalone guide.
Which Steady Series book is for you?
Four books, three for the parent, one for the partner. Each stands on its own.
| Book | Who it's for | What it helps with |
|---|---|---|
| Steady | EUPD / Borderline Personality Disorder | A warm, honest guide to raising children while living with EUPD. |
| Grounded | Complex PTSD (C-PTSD) | Raising steady children when your own childhood still hurts. |
| Present | ADHD | Raising steady children when your own mind won't sit still. |
| Steadfast | For partners | A warm, honest guide for the person who stays. |
You don't have to be a perfect parent. You have to be one who comes back.
In healthy families, parents are perfectly “in tune” with their children only about a third of the time. The rest is mismatch, missing each other, and repair. The repair is where security gets built. Which means the thing we fear most, that we rupture, is not what harms children. Unrepaired rupture harms children. Repaired rupture builds them.
That single idea runs through all three books, and it's why a struggling, imperfect, deeply loving parent can raise a thriving child.
- Name the hard parts honestly, no shame, no flinching
- In-the-moment tools for the storms, the floods, the overwhelm
- Repair: the most powerful tool any parent has
- Build the steadiness and safety your children need
- Break the cycle, so they inherit your love, not your wounds
Written from the bathroom floor, and the way back up.
Esme Hartley writes under a pen name to protect her children's privacy. She is not a clinician, she is a parent who has lived these struggles, found her way through with help, and writes the books she once needed and couldn't find.
Read her story →“You don't have to be a parent who never struggles. No such parent exists. You have to be a parent who always comes back. That one, you can be, starting today.”
About Esme Hartley & The Steady Series
Who is Esme Hartley?
Esme Hartley is the author of The Steady Series, lived-experience guides for parents raising children while living with EUPD (Borderline Personality Disorder), Complex PTSD, or ADHD, and for the partners who love them. Esme Hartley is a pen name, used to protect her children's privacy. She writes as a parent who has lived these struggles, not as a clinician.
What is The Steady Series?
The Steady Series is a set of four books by Esme Hartley. Three are for the parent, Steady (EUPD/Borderline Personality Disorder), Grounded (Complex PTSD), and Present (ADHD). The fourth, Steadfast, is for the partner who loves and supports someone with one of these conditions. Each book stands completely on its own and can be read in any order.
Are the books based on real experience or written by a doctor?
They are written from lived experience, not by a clinician. Esme Hartley is a parent who has lived with these conditions. The books pair unflinching honesty with practical, evidence-informed toolkits, and they include UK and international support resources throughout, but they are not a substitute for professional help.
Where can I buy the Steady Series books?
All four books are available on Amazon in both the UK and US stores, in Kindle and paperback. Each book's page on esmehartley.com links straight to the right edition for your country.
Which Steady Series book should I read first?
Read the one that matches what you carry: Steady for EUPD/Borderline Personality Disorder, Grounded for Complex PTSD, Present for ADHD, and Steadfast if you're the partner supporting someone with any of these. A free two-minute quiz at esmehartley.com/quiz will point you to the right one.
Take the pocket guide. It's yours.
A free, printable two-page guide with the most-used tools from the series, the in-the-storm steps, the repair script, grounding, boundaries, and a card for partners. Keep it on the fridge. I'll send it straight to you, plus the occasional new-book note. Never spammily.
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